With Halloween approaching, we have a question for you: Do you love scaring the bejesus out of people? If so, we have five frightening items that will do that, while also annoying the hell out of your prey. For a few agonizing hours, they will wish they never came into contact with these dreaded “gifts.” 

Endless Screamer Greeting Card with Glitter

The Endless Screamer card is something The Crypt-Keeper would mail to his fiends for a good snicker.

You want to be like The Crypt-Keeper, don’t you? Of course, you do. He’s what every boy and ghoul aspire to be when they grow up. The shriek of this unsuspecting birthday card will drive the most stable person into the mouth of madness. Just when they think it’s over, it will start again, plunging them further and further into a lonely abyss of insanity. 

The only way to stop it is to destroy it. Do your loved ones have what it takes to do that? Most people would hide their wounds if a zombie bit them. They are no match for Joker Greeting. If they manage to eradicate the cardboard beast, they will meet a deadlier monster: a disgusting pile of sparkling glitter. 

Less scary, but equally tormenting, is the Endless Halloween card.

Festive rows of playful pumpkins will lure your recipient into a false sense of safety. The “Trick And Treat” message will excite them. “I get both?” they’ll wonder. Oh, they’ll get both, alright. They’ll be treated to a lovely Halloween jingle, which will deviously play until their bleeding ears can’t take it anymore. Maybe they’ll reach for a butcher knife or hatchet to make it stop. How delightfully appropriate. Upon slicing the paper with their shiny blade, they’ll find themselves covered with glimmering specks of awfulness. 

Do you know someone who deserves to hear eight hours of murderous screeching?

Of course, you do. What better time to provide that disturbing experience than Halloween? Just sneak into their wretched dwelling, adhere the Joker Scream sticker to a flat surface near their bedside or favorite armchair, and let the suffering begin. They’ll never cross you, or look at Halloween the same, again. 

For extra-added anguish, you can deliver these hair-raising items inside the Endless Screaming Birthday Box.

Once that special someone opens the box, their celebration will begin, and end, with the harrowing, psychotic wails of pure evil.

If these diabolical trinkets don’t terrify your victims enough, there is the Scary Clown Camera Prank.

A 2016 poll showed that 42% of Americans are afraid of clowns. Some revealed that the big-nosed, makeup-wearing freaks strike more fear in them than terrorism, biological warfare, and death itself! It’s a perfect opportunity to make them face their darkest nightmares. They’ll thank you later for making them a stronger person. Your order comes with two spine-chilling clowns so you can terrorize your grandma and your baby sister!

Friends who think they’re so cool with cameras on the back of their Jeeps and SUVs won’t be so slick when they see a giant, creepy jester staring through their soul. You’ll possess the devilish power to turn any sidewalk, driveway, street, or yard into a hellish landscape. How about your neighbor who never gives out candy on Halloween? Or worse, hands out raisins? Don’t egg their house; that approach is immature (and clichéd). Share a fearsome lesson with them instead. Attach a smiling clown to their security camera. When they check to see who’s rapping at their door, they’ll be scared stiff into doing the right thing next year. It’s good for the entire neighborhood. 

October is one of the best months to prank someone. Release your inner demon by gifting your foes with the horrid cries of an Endless Halloween, courtesy of Joker Greeting. 

[Written by Alan Ritch]

Written by Travis Peterson

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