Dear Jokers

Two Great Christmas Cards to remind your family and friends you love them...forever.

Look, it’s a bunch of people pretending to be cats singing Carol of the Bells. Forever.

We’re not saying our Endless Meowy Christmas card was the result of a pact with old Beelzebub himself. But we are saying that it’s mighty similar to being trapped in a biker bar in Sandusky, Ohio, with a homesick motorcycle gang that’s been living off Pabst Blue Ribbon and carnitas fries for the past four months and gets so phenomenally, mind-numbingly wasted on Christmas Eve that the transition from Don’t Stop Believing to Carol of the Bells involves a drunken interpretation of Dame Judi Dench as a cats-only version of the Boys Choir of Harlem.

Look, it’s a bunch of people pretending to be cats singing Carol of the Bells. Forever.

Attempts to stop the madness result in an absolute assault of glitter.

This isn’t for the faint of heart. In fact, giving this card to someone you adore requires an appalling level of heartlessness and a level of depravity reserved for that most hallowed of holidays: Christmas. 

It’s hilarious. You’re gonna love it.

Check link HERE to buy. 

Endless Christmas - Rock and Roll Jingle Bells

And oh, there’s so much glitter. We really committed to the glitter. 

Christmas should never end. And, with our Endless Christmas card with glitter, it doesn’t have to. As soon as your recipient opens the card, they’ll be subjected to the sweet, sweet sounds of a hardcore electric guitar version of Jingle Bells playing over and over again until, inevitably, madness leads your beloved recipient to destroy the card.

At which point, the glitter is unleashed. 

And oh, there’s so much glitter. We really committed to the glitter. 

We hired a test group of professionals—in this case, toddlers— to determine the exact shade and consistency of glitter to maximize delight and frustration. (Alright, “hired” is a strong word. What we did was don a few face masks, hop on over to our local mall, and grab a few kids we found lying around. It’s called providing employment, and that builds strong communities, thank you.)

After the toddlers selected their favorite, we paid them in espresso and gummi bears and returned them to the mall where they’re no doubt living happy, productive lives following their brief, terrifying internship with us. We’re about giving back.

The takeaway here is that this card is perfect for anyone, and is really a Christmas gift in itself.

Check link HERE to buy! 

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