Congratulations on buying the best Christmas card on the planet. You’re a stud. Need help figuring out what to write on the inside? We’ve got your back:


10. This is payback for the year you decided you wanted to learn the jazz sax.

9. Here’s the closest thing to taking a roadtrip with my kids.

8. It’s like frankincense and myrrh. Only awful and worth nothing.

7. The only thing that lasts longer than a fruitcake.

6. This counts for all future Christmas cards, too.

5. Because whiskey doesn’t fit in an envelope.

4. I told you I wanted a Malibu Barbie.

3. It’s the 12 Days at Christmas. All at once.

2. What I lack in class I make up for in creativity.

1. We’re having a card competition. I just won. 

Enjoy the laughs!

Joker Greeting

Written by Travis Peterson

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