Ever wonder if world leaders send thank you and congratulations greeting cards. They do. The list of Putin and the 12 memorable times Putin said "You're Welcome" with a congratulations card.
- For all those times the Ukrainians got to encounter his disciplined and supremely sexy army on horseback pretending to be Dothraki.
- After exposing his magnificent chest near the village of Arkhangelsk and causing the immediate pregnancy of no fewer than 16 women between the ages of 17-89.
- Successfully reversing global warming for all Russian citizens.
- For the invention of Dolphins with lasers.
- To his mother, for gracing her womb with his presence for 9 whole months.
- For removing President Obama from office in only eight years. While simultaneously boosting Donald Trump with winks and finger points.
- For setting the standard of excellence in erect male nipples. Google it.
- For reminding all males that being any taller than 5’7” is unnecessary and wasteful.
- For scoring that one hockey goal against Russia's best (paid-off or threatened) goalie.
- Successfully evicting a savage band of lizard people from underneath the Kremlin just in time for Christmas.
- For taking Steven Seagal away from us and making him an honorary russian.
- For the steely blue gaze that causes men to question their sexual orientation and women to wonder why they’re with their husbands.